Billboards a-plenty
You can map the traffic of humankind based on the frequency of advertisements. All of the neon signs, posters, and billboards of the world form a well-traversed highway system of people. You can easily tell when you have taken the exit onto one of the expressways of humanity just by looking around you. Airports, malls, expressways, food courts, snack areas, shopping districts, stadiums. When you can’t escape the intense stimulus of color, even when you relax your eyes and blur the world, you know you are in one of humanity’s hubs, and that you are sharing your experience with hundreds, thousands, even millions of other people.
Most direct advertising we see on the highways of humanity tries to invoke a particular feeling or idea in a particular type of person. To analyze these ads, you would think that the advertisers were trying to make you feel like a special individual.
Mr. Clean
YOU, white mother of two, YOU need Arm & Hammer laundry detergent. YOU, 20-29 years of age male, 39-49k/year, YOU need a watch. And when you see an ad that targets you, you respond to it. Like the time I went out on a special trip to buy a pair of Keds shoes. They had tears and threads hanging off of them, on purpose. The ad was…but it might be too revealing an insight into my soul to tell you about the ad. Better to give you a carefully pre-fab insight through my writing. Unfortunately for you Reader, there you get the strings and tears.
During these past four days in Puerto Rico, I travelled almost exclusively along the highways of humanity. From San Juan international airport I was shuttled to a rental car agency. The agent there gave me pre-printed directions from the airport to the major expressway leading to Plaza las Americas, one of the largest malls in South America. At the mall I walked for 1 hour from my parking space outside Macy’s, through the largest J.C. Penny’s in the world, up 4 escalators, finally arriving at the food court, or Terazza. The food court was absolutely packed. Other than the Mall of America in Michigan (world’s largest mall), I have not seen a bigger shopping center. It was awesome (awful? I was full of awe in any case.) I waited 25 minutes in line to order a teriyaki chicken wrap in broken Spanish, not understanding the man when he asked me what three vegetables I wanted on the wrap. I squeezed into a chair in between two couples.
Hello, Kitty!
From my spot in the food court, I could see a group of three emo Puerto Rican kids. And for some reason I could not look away. They were dressed completely inappropriately, and could not have been older than 15. Black, straight-ironed hair, skull caps on the boys, with tight black jeans and purple t-shirts featuring skulls or the Cheshire cat. The girl was wearing, I swear, not more than tight boy-style underwear with ruffles around the edges. They were laughing and talking, blinking through their eye shadow. I thought they were strangely beautiful. I know that sounds weird. But it was like they were human eye candy or something. They had identified themselves so completely with the Hot Topic brand image. I imagined how it would feel for them when they cracked through the chocolate crackle-shell of their image. Then, a year or two after they graduate high school (if indeed they would,) would come their man-body or woman-body. And by the time they were 24 they would look like and truly be completely different people. Grown ups who can blend in with a crowd of people at an airline boarding gate. Who can rent a car, and drive around a city where they speak a different language. Grown ups in appearance only. I don’t think there’s any other kind of adult.
Airport gate
